It’s impossible to make a reach in the draft.

Tweet If a writer’s reach doesn’t exceed cliches, then what’s a dictionary for? A dear, dear friend of the After Drafter Clock, Dane Brugler, the Senior Analyst at NFLDraftScout.com, wrote disparagingly of the Chicago Bears first round draft pick, but in that bizarre, Twilight Zone way that draft experts like.  Brugler wrote the following: The Bears deserve credit for trading up two spots, jumping the New York Giants at No….

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The Conservative Shill

Tweet The fastball pitcher becomes a screwball analyst. Curt Schilling, the proudly conservative former talking ESPN head, began his “I was wronged by the liberal media” speaking tour since his recent firing.  We’ve all heard the song before, how the liberal media constantly works to silence conservative voices, government is too big, Obama is the worst president ever, and so on.  The song plays on an endless reel so relentlessly…

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Sore Eagle QB will Never Soar

Tweet Anything he can do, I can do bett… wait, just trade me. Every NFL quarter needs to have a little bit of Monty Python’s Black Knight in his mindset.  For the uninitiated, in the movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail, King Arthur happens upon the Black Knight, an imposing figure played by John Cleese, who declares that no one, not even King Arthur, shall pass.  Eventually the knight…

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The Force is with Goodell Again

Tweet The Empire Strikes Back. Just when the NFLPA thought it defeated the evil empire, Roger Goodell got his mojo back.  An appeals court reinstated the commissioner’s four game suspension of Tom Brady because either Brady got caught cheating, or got caught not cooperating with the commissioner’s efforts to catch him cheating.  Either way, Goodell regained the authority he appeared to lose, and, he hopes, some of the dignity he…

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Trouble Swoopes In

Tweet Maybe Jordan and Laimbeer Deserved Each Other. In the 1990’s Chicago experienced the joy of watching Michael Jordan become the greatest basketball player ever, and lead the Bulls to six championships in the bargain. Jordan wasn’t merely a great basketball player, he was an incredible human being. By that I don’t mean he was exceptionally kind or charitable, or something along those lines. Instead, he was a human being…

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Norman Aging? You must be Joshing.

Tweet The Coming of Aged.   A dear, dear friend of the After Drafter Clock, ESPN’s Kevin Seifert, wrote about the Redskins decision to sign newly freed free agent Josh Norman. I don’t know if Seifert writes his own headlines, but his recent post came with an interesting headline, describing Norman as an “aging” veteran. Aging served two purposes in this situation. It carried the connotation Washington signed a player…

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Can Arrieta Jake it to 30 wins?

Tweet Arrietta reaches insane level of greatness. Over his past twenty-four regular season starts, Chicago Cubs starting pitcher Jake Arrieta accumulated a record of 20-1, with an ERA of 0.86 over 178 innings. Over his last sixteen starts his record improved to 15-1, with an ERA of 0.53. Over his last eleven starts he threw two no-hitters. I don’t have immediate access to Bob Gibson’s best twenty-four starts in 1968,…

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Unholy Hail Mary Trades

Tweet Rams can only pray for a Hollywood ending. Back in 1999 Mike Ditka traded all eight New Orleans Saints draft picks to the Washington Redskins for the chance to move up seven slots and draft Ricky Williams. Although Ditka once coached the Chicago Bears to a Super Bowl victory, in reality he ranked as a mediocre coach blessed with overwhelming on-field talent. The Bears of the 1980’s, thanks primarily…

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NFL Draft in Chicago: Money for Nothing and Picks for Free

Tweet  Broad Shoulders but Shallow Pockets. Carl Sandburg once called Chicago the city of broad shoulders.  Today it might be better called the city of big spenders and shallow pockets.  The city willingly paid a high price to place host to the NFL draft last year, and even more this year.  When asked if Chicago might earn back its investment over the four day draft extravaganza, a University of Chicago…

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Rats! Philly Fans are acting up again.

Tweet Less than Upright Behavior. From 1979 to 1982 the Northwestern Wildcats lost thirty-four straight games, the longest losing streak in college football history. Although they’ve become a competitive program over the past two decades, the Northwestern Wildcats footballs teams of my childhood played consistently awful football, usually glad to win two or three games in a season. Then they hit rock bottom and became the worst football team ever…

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Mom asked “Are we Caucasian?”

Tweet It’s hard to insult an Irish-American.   My mother worked in the kitchen of Shriners Hospital for Crippled Children years ago. I imagine the “Crippled Children” portion of the name has been scrubbed over time, but that’s what it was called then. In the mid-seventies the City of Chicago passed a law that all cooks in hospitals and other places with similar kitchens needed to pass a written test…

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